Because Lionsgate still isn’t done squeezing the udders of its favorite cash cow, it has launched a contest called The Storytellers: New Voices of the Twilight Saga project. It’s supposed to encourage new female filmmakers, so if you have boobs, you’re in luck! EW has just announced the six winners of the screenplay round.

Isn’t this basically a fan fiction contest? Normally I’d be all over this, but since none of the stories revolve around Bedward, I don’t care. Here’s the list of stories if you give a s—t.

Do you think the short films will feature the supporting actors from the movies? Because I feel like they would benefit most from this competition. Like what is Ashley Greene doing now other than making crappy horror movies? God knows what will happen to Kellan Lutz.

I’ve attached a video of Stephenie Meyer and Kristen Stewart announcing the contest. There’s a funny bit at 1:26 where a Swedish lady from Volvo says that the winners will get a new car. I knew it! TWILIGHT HAS BEEN ENDORSING VOLVO ALL ALONG!

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