This is already my favorite road movie, and it hasn’t even been made yet. On the Road can take a f-cking hike, because who else can show you beauty and freedom other than the legendary Liz Taylor? For some reason when I read about this, I immediately imagined her chain smoking in the driver’s seat.

When The Guardian reported that Joseph Fiennes would play Michael Jackson, the world was like, “WTF?” (I demand to see that audition tape.) I have more faith in Stockard Channing as Taylor. Brian Cox will play third wheel, Marlon Brando.

This epic-in-the-making will be a British TV movie about Jackson’s escape from New York during the 9/11 air-travel shutdown. Apparently they made it as far as Ohio in a rental car. But Taylor’s former assistant claims that she wasn’t even on the trip. LIES! Don’t tell me Jackson would do a ride along with Brando all the way across the country. What would they even talk about? Who would drive? (On second thought, this sounds better than Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.)

Image credit: Peter Jordan/PA

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