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Nicolas Cage is the hero America needs right now

  • Alexondra Assemi
  • Apr 8, 2016
  • 1 min read

Today the world was reminded who the true caped crusader of justice is (hint: it’s not Henry Cavill). Our Man of Steel, who came down from the heavens to protect Gotham, *cough, America is none other than Nicolas Cage.

Our modern day Clark Kent was disguised in a cheesy blue suit during a trip to Vegas with Mötley Crüe frontman, Vince Neil.

When a woman had the audacity to ask Cage for an autograph, Neil yanked her by the hair and pulled her to the ground.

Cage then defended her honor by putting the rockstar/gorilla into a headlock, shouting “Stop this sh-t now!” After a lot of pushing and shoving, the two hugged it out, with Cage saying, “You’re okay, I love you.”

This entire altercation is an actual reenactment of Batman v Superman.

Somewhere in a big mansion in Hollywood, Zack Snyder is kicking himself for not casting Cage in his movie, which is probably why everyone thinks it’s a steaming pile of garbage.

You can watch Cage and Neil’s sensual mating dance here.

Image credit: TMZ

 
 
 

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